Emotions After 3 Months & 2 Days

Yesterday, I had a not-so-mature fit while talking to my mother. My mom, the same lady who worked her fingers to the bone taking care of out-of-town guests and family for two weeks. The lady who has come up more in the past three months than she did all of last year. The lady who is working hard on a special gift for my baby, the Princess. The lady who regularly gives up chunks of her time to help me by taking care of the children. I became upset because she hadn't called me on Monday, which was the three-month anniversay of Mark's passing.

While intellectually I know that there are many people who miss Mark and think of him often, sometimes it feels like I am the only person who remembers him, besides the children. Noone really talks about him to me, and I feel like he was such an important person, people should be remembering him. That is not to say people set out to deliberately avoid the topic of his life, but the conversation usually is about how myself and the children are doing. And their caring about us is SO appreciated.

Today, my mom told me how she was constantly thinking of him. That she misses Mark every time she walks into the room he would stay in when he was in downstate Illinois for work. That she has a picture of him on her desk playing mah jongg, and she smiles thinking of how passionately he played the game. That she misses him so much she still sometimes cry. And that people sometimes don't want to upset me by talking about him, and how they miss him.

Is it sick of me that hearing all of this made me feel better? It made me remember that he DID matter to others, that there were many more people who loved him than just the children and me. It felt like a weight had been lifted - I wasn't alone in my grief. Someone I love misses and loves the man who meant (and means) the world to me.

I would encourage anyone who knows a person who has lost a loved one to talk about the one who has passed. It helps more than you could know to hear how memories others have.

Yet once again, my mom has been the source of a blessing to me.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

When I was young, I loved spending time with my grandmother. She always had time to listen to what I had to say, passed on her love of baking to me, and sent us all home from her house with a wicked case of heartburn because she filled us with good food the entire time I was there. And I used to think often that I hoped my children would feel about their grandma the way I felt about mine.

My prayers were answered. My mom has filled my children's lives with love and joy, more than I could ever have imagined. Whether it is shopping at garage sales with the Prince, or baking and sewing with the Princess, she always has time and attention for them. She even learned how to send audio texts to/from the Prince - and if you know my mother, you know what an accomplishment that is! She will spend hours sewing blankets and pajamas for the children. When the Princess was younger, my mom sewed all of her dresses since the Princess was too slim for store-bought dresses. When the Prince was young, she made special vests for his pre-school class for them to practice buttoning and zippering. Even now, my mom will make the children's favorite dishes when we visit. She fills their lives with love, hugs, and unconditional acceptance.

As much as she shines as a grandma, she has really shone as my mom. While I didn't appreciate the effort made at the time, she would spend hours making clothes for me when I was little. My Barbie dolls had many homemade dresses - many made without patterns. My love of reading and books were encouraged by the fact that whatever paperback book I wanted from the book order, she purchased for me, even though money might have been tight. My friends were always welcome at my house; in fact, most Sundays, my youth group would end up at my house. While I wasn't the easiest of teenagers to raise, my mom always let me know I was loved. When I had mono for three months, my mom would always come give me a kiss goodbye before she left for work, and several times a week would bring me home shakes.

Even now that I am an adult (no snickering, please!), my mom shines as a mom. I've never heard her complain when I've called her several times a day for silly reasons. She still makes my favorite meals when I go visit. I still crawl in her bed early in the morning, just to talk. When I moved to Illinois, she lined all of my cabinets with contact paper - no small feat, and she did so good-naturedly. She'll play mah jongg with me as long as I'd like. And when Mark became my husband, she accepted him as her 2nd son, loved him unconditionally, and taught him that hugging was a good thing!

While there are innumerable reasons why my mom is a good mother, there is no better example than what she did for me in February of 2010. When Mark entered the hospital, my parents dropped everything and came up to help me with the children. For the next two weeks, my mom barely left my house. She cooked, cleaned, and did laundry for more than a dozen people. She watched over my children so I could watch over Mark. And when I didn't think I could hold on anymore to my sanity, my mom did that for me with words of encouragement.

No words could properly express how grateful I am for the wonderful lady that is my mom. I am very blessed to be her daughter, and my children's lives are blessed having her as a Grandma.

I love you, Mom!

Mothers

I love my mom - she has passed on her love of bacon....

My mom filching a piece of bacon BEFORE breakfast!

She is incredibly talented with all things involving sewing.....

My mom and the wall hanging she made me with the fabric scraps left from outfits she has made for the princess.

She is the best grandmother my children could ask for!

Grandma and their Royal Highnesses on Christmas morning.

Most importantly, she and my father set an example of how a couple should love each other.

My parents - admiring their grandchildren playing on a hill in Colorado.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! You are a blessing every day, and I love you bunches!